1. Taking screenshots of friends' posts
And forwards them to real friends to engage in collective backbiting.
2. Sends her nude photos to various men.
Of course, she took them "for herself." But not to share this naked beauty with the world (the world in this case means former man, current man and potential man) would be sheer blasphemy.
3. Checking to see if you're horoscope compatible.
Before you can even ask, "What are your plans for tonight?" and she already knows how Cancer is compatible with Aries, Tiger with Dragon, and Ash with Poplar.
4. Wears the same bra all the time.
And those lace threads she periodically wraps herself in to please you, it's the parade, so to speak, the going out. And, as a rule, wildly uncomfortable. Not like an immortal washed-up bra that has outlived more than a generation of boyfriends.
5. Keeps commemorative bus tickets.
Or a brochure from the serpentarium where you went on your first date.
6. Experiencing groundless demonic jealousy.
"Okay, you claim you were on a fishing trip. Why then don't you smell like fish and you're not covered in mud! Yep, gotcha!" Deny everything. Or play dead. She'll get over it soon enough. It's hormones. At least that's what the girl will end up blaming it on.
7. Discusses the size of her exes' jade rods with her girlfriends.
And sometimes current ones. Sorry.
8. Fantasizes about having sex with a much older man.
It's more or less clear with the younger guys and peers. But what's it like, I wonder... Never mind, never mind. Still, though...
9. Admires her own breasts.
Women's breasts fascinate women no less than men. No matter how you look at it, they are two completely striking and beautiful creatures. And both belong to her. A miracle.
10. Read, flipped through, or even watched "Fifty Shades of Grey."
Yes, she just defended her dissertation on "The Brontë Sisters and Their Absence in Nekrasov's Early Work" and became a Ph.D. in Philology. But when Christian Grey enters Anastacia Steele, the degrees, heads bowed, dutifully retreat.
11. Claims this photo is #filterless.
Big deal!
12. Looks at herself in the mirror as she cries
Sobbing in her voice and rubbing tears into her cheeks, the girl manages to crawl up to the mirror. She looks at her distorted, heartbroken face and the climax of PMS. How beautiful she is after all! And defenseless! Especially when she cries.
13. Imagines what your children will look like.
Even the girl most in love with one man can't deny herself such harmless pleasures as imaginary male selection It's like The Sims game, but quite in 3D.
14. Babysitting her pet.
Of course, she knows it's not a human baby, but a large herbivorous lizard of the iguana family. But she still holds out her hands and asks: "Who here wants to be held?"
15. Occasionally meets an ex.
The one who was anathematized by all of her friends after he managed to break a girl's already broken heart four more times. And now she is in a stable, adult, full of mutual respect, but every now and then she rushes into the arms of Beelzebub. Because without him it is quite boring.
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