1. Memorize names
Anyone's own name is the sweetest combination of sounds. So why not play on that? Remember people's names and use them. Famous psychologist Dale Carnegie was convinced that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
For the person with whom you are not in contact very often, the very fact that you remember his name will be a pleasant surprise. He will be surprised and flattered by the attention to his person.
Do not repeat the person's name literally through every word. Instead, try to memorize it right away the moment you meet him and then apply it when you want to start a conversation.
2. Control your emotions.
Technology is slowly replacing live human communication. But people are still quite social creatures for whom it is important to show emotions.
Subconsciously we choose as talkers the person who is closest to us emotionally and whose behavior does not arouse rejection. Often it happens that the conversations somehow catch the general mood, and then adjust to each other.
If you want to make a favorable impression on someone or make someone's day a little better, try to control your mood to share only positive emotions with others.
3. use non-verbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not only with your ears. Try to show the person that the conversation really matters to you by using non-verbal ways of communication:
Mimic the person you're talking to - copy their posture or manner of speaking, but don't get too carried away or they may think you're mimicking them.
Maintain eye contact - no one likes to carry on a conversation with someone who is looking in the wrong direction. It's not clear whether he's actually listening, or whether he's busy with his thoughts.
Nod, smile, gesticulate, but in moderation.
Behave naturally, don't try to use all means of non-verbal communication simultaneously.
4. Practice active listening.
The ability to listen attentively to the interlocutor is very important for maintaining a constructive conversation. People around you will like you much better if you concentrate on keeping the conversation going, not on anything extraneous. Try mastering active listening techniques to demonstrate how attentive you can be to your interlocutor.
5. Provide feedback.
To let the person know that you really care about them, bring up a topic you discussed with them earlier.
Did your colleague mention that his son is having a matinee this weekend? Ask him to tell you how it went. Did your friend say he was going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen this weekend? Ask what came out of it and if he likes the result.
It is not always necessary to discuss some very important and global topics. Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance events. Attention and interest in them gives reason to talk. People are pleased and flattered when someone is interested in the details of their lives.
6. Don't be stingy with praise.
Real praise is quite different from crude flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember: no one likes a sycophant.
People crave approval, but they rarely get it. Criticism and irony are much more common.
Dale Carnegie
bestselling author of communication skills
Genuine praise for a job well done, the knowledge that your efforts are noticed and appreciated-that's what people really want to hear. Do not be stingy with words and praise sincerely.
7. Criticize constructively and factually
Be generous with your praise, but don't be too critical. People are extremely sensitive. Even words that are not very hurtful can be extremely hurtful to the ego. Sometimes there is no way around criticism. Remember that in these cases, it should be constructive and not carry a negative connotation. If someone makes a mistake, do not scold him publicly. Be tactful and sensitive.
Use the "sandwich" technique. Its essence is that any critical review is based on the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
Bad example. Lisa, you have such beautiful hair, but the report, unfortunately, you made just disgusting. By the way, where did you buy that awesome sweater?
Good example. The report you sent me looks very impressive. Nice work, only on a cursory glance I think I noticed a few errors. I could be wrong, of course, but it would be nice to check. By the way, I forgot to tell you: the last Facebook post you wrote about our firm has such a large reach, it's nothing short of gratifying.
The goal of criticism should be for the other person to admit their mistakes on their own, without you directly pointing them out. In the example we looked at above, you could have simply said, "You have some ridiculous mistakes in your report again. Fix them at last." And just wait for a response.
The person is sure to apologize
8. Don't order, but suggest.
Few people like to be spoken to in an orderly tone and forced to do not the most pleasant things. But what about those situations where you really need something from a person?
You can get what you want by simply asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, except the person will not feel humiliated and insulted.
Bad example. Ivan, I absolutely need those reports today. And hurry up!
Good example. Ivan, tell me, will you have time to deal with this report before tonight? I'd really appreciate it.
I think the difference is obvious.
9. Be a living person, not a robot.
Self-confidence makes a person more attractive to others. But it's important to strike a balance here and not to start appearing self-confident and pompous to everyone. The character and inner core you have to have, but do not go too far.
To have sympathy for others, be honest with them. Don't go out of your way to seem like the person you're not. People are quick to spot a fake. Accept that it's hard to be nice to someone you can't trust.
Be consistent. If you want to seem like someone you can rely on, then guarantee those around you that you will treat them well regardless of your mood.
Watch how you behave and present yourself. Forget arrogance and arrogance, and try to help people as much as you can.
10. Master Storytelling.
People love fascinating stories, so try to become a good storyteller. Storytelling is a special form of art that requires skill. You will need to learn how to formulate your thoughts competently, focus on the most interesting points, watch your speech and not to bore your interlocutors. Learn to hold and attract people's attention, then they will begin to reach out to you.
11 Don't be distracted by your phone.
If you are talking to someone, put your smart phone away. Nothing distracts from a conversation more than constant glances at the screen while you're talking, as well as the sounds of incoming messages and notifications. It makes it hard to concentrate on the conversation and annoying.
Any conversation will be much more pleasant if you are absorbed in it in its entirety.
Concentrate on the content of the conversation. The phone is not going anywhere from you, but the person may well.
12. don't be afraid to ask for advice
This seems to be one of the easiest ways to get people to like you. When you ask for advice, you show them that their opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect them.
When you make the person feel important and meaningful, when they realize that you can't do without their help, they begin to sympathize with you.
13. Avoid clichés.
Let's be honest: No one likes a boring person. They are predictable to yawning and terribly uninteresting. We most often like bright, extraordinary, original and sometimes even quirky people.
A trivial example: Imagine you are interviewing someone. Instead of saying to your interlocutor at the end "It was a pleasure to meet you," try to make some adjustments. Say instead: "It was really nice talking to you," or "Glad we finally got to know each other better.
You don't have to reinvent the wheel - be yourself and be imaginative.
14. Ask questions.
Take an interest in the lives of the people you want to get on good terms with. Ask about their interests, hobbies, the books they read and the movies they watch. This is an unmistakable way to gain attention.
People are self-centered and like to talk about themselves the most. If you allow your interlocutor this little weakness, he will subconsciously mark you as an exceptionally nice person.
15. Be Objective
No one wants to deal with a person who finally and irrevocably got something into his head and is not ready to change his mind. If you want to please others, be open-minded. To get rid of bias, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinion of others, compare it with your own and try to come to some kind of compromise.
Add a couple of these helpful habits to your routine and watch your popularity skyrocket.
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