1. BLACK SILK LINENS
And in general, any silk linen of any color whatsoever, but black in particular. "Why do men think that silk sheets are the pinnacle of chic and good taste?! It's the most banal thing from the dusty arsenal of the elderly playboys!" - the esteemed expert bangs his head against his jabot.
If you want to appear before the girl a model of refined nature, do it on the bed, laid with linen, which the night fairies wove from quality cotton white (and only white!) colors. Sheets with flowers, butterflies and domestics leave the Robinsons and barracks.
2. Plush toysIf you think that at the sight of your bed, densely carpeted with kittens, deer and crocodile girl falls into tenderness and raschrushivaya all this mossy plush, rush into your arms - forget it! The presence and even more overabundance of toys in your bedroom indicates that you are slovenly, hoarder and infantile type. And that's at best!
Worst case... all those cute little frogs didn't just walk into your house, did they? Somebody must have given them to you-ex-girlfriends, most likely. So, keep the memories of their exes, with whom everything is forever torn and over - a sign that you can not cope with the loss and still cherish painful memories.
3. MIRROR ON THE CEILING.
"What are you, the king of XXX home videos?" - William contemptuously inquires. Oops. Then I'm sorry. Claims withdrawn!
Otherwise, having mirrors in places not intended by nature is vulgar, he insists. If you had one of them nailed into the ceiling and even paid for it, it's a pity that you have such strange and peculiar, if not more cruel, predilections and shouts about your narcissism.
However, if you have such a mirror, you probably like to be yelled at, and our pious whispering can hardly convince you. But at least we tried!
4. MIRRORED FURNITURE.
Mr. Hanson insisted that we take this out as a separate item. Not only is mirrored furniture the quintessential bad taste, William heats up, it's also breathtakingly impractical! No, well, if, of course, you dream of spending your best years wiping dust and fingerprints off it at the slightest touch, then sorry and move on to the next point.
5. UGLY PAINTINGS.
Originals by Van Gogh, Banksy and Kukryniks are beyond suspicion! We only obstruct creations bought at flea markets, on the Internet and in "All for 10 rubles" stores. All these abstractions or, on the contrary, geese in apples not only won't decorate your manly nest, but will also inform your guest that the last time you were in a museum, when you were looking for the pub.
If you're so keen to spruce up your bedroom walls, seek advice from someone who knows exactly what they're doing.