I am so in love with someone who does not care about my feelings. Every action of theirs shows me how bad I should move on.
It is very painful that it started nicely, and now, they can't even talk to me.
I have tried to move on, but I can't.
It is like am attracted to the pain they cause in my life. I keep calling even when my calls go unanswered. I keep texting even though my texts are unanswered.
I stay in love with this person even when they deliberately and knowingly hurt my feelings.
I know am in love with this person, my person.
Technically, not my person. Well, I wish they could give me a chance.
It is not easy to let go. I know I should let go, but I can't. It is been four years, and I still don't want to let go.
I wake up thinking about my person, I sleep thinking about them. I hate that I can't talk to them. I hate that they don't give me that chance.
I wish I could talk to them. I will tell them how bad it hurts that they ignore me. I will tell them that I want to be part of their life. I would assure them that I won't break their heart.
I miss them so much. I wish we could create memories together, like we did when we first met.
They would let me talk to them. Call them at any time. Text them whenever. Go to lunch together.
So many pictures, it hurts to look at them. I feel like I lost everything, when I think about my person.
I don't know what happened. Maybe I got too clingy. Maybe I called so many times. Maybe I texted a lot.
But I could have changed, if they had told me about my flaws.
I could have become the person they wanted me to be. I could have stopped calling and texting so many times.
Am sad all the time. Am angry at the wrong people. I keep pushing everyone away, even though they haven't done me wrong.
I feel guilty about what happened. I feel like it was all my fault. I feel like I could have done much more to make my person stay.
I wish I could change things. I wish I could make everything go back to when we first met. I wish I could make my person stay in my life.
Am trying my best to let go. Am trying my best to ignore and forget my person. But I don't know if I can.
Every time I go out, I would wish it was with my person.
It is not easy to let go, because my heart does not want to.
I can't be with anyone. I don't function so well around people. I hate getting attached. I hate being in public. I hate everything that comes with working away from home.
All because of love.
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