Getting over a loved one passing is a daunting task and may seem impossible for sure weeks went by it hasn't even hit me yet I'm not sure it's going to maybe it so devastating my mind won't let me feel it let's go back some 8 weeks earlier to my dad passing well let's go back 40 years ago my mom couldn't raise me so grandpa and grandma took me in and raised me whole my mom took the other 2 siblings and grandpa became daddy and grandma became mama we were so close Id always be by my daddy side working in the garage with tools or riding on the lawn mower as he mowed the grass he was my rock he was there for me through everything life threw at me no matter what it was he showed up to hello me he was my biggest fan any ways we found out dad was sick at the Dr office they told him he had cancer and that it was very aggressive to start making preparations and we would try radiation treatment and chemo so dad went through all this 3 weeks went by he was so sick and mouth full of sores from the radiation it was so unfair to see someone so good a deacon at church a wonderful husband sure over 50 years a great father to 3 girls he was out baseball coach he was wonderful often given money to homless to see him suffer this way he didn't deserve to go through that any way the cancer was so aggressive it took over his lungs and ect he found out he had cancer and 4 weeks it killed him in the middle of the pandemic and not visitors allowed in the hospitals daddy died alone his last words were I will not say good bye I just can't promise me you will meet me in heaven I'll be there waiting for you .
I'm sorry it just hit me in balling like a baby.....
The point is no matter how close your were or are no matter what plans you make no matter what your do to prepare yourself it's not going to prepare you for the impact that it's going to be when you find out...
You never get over it there isn't getting over it I think about it every single day for the rest of my life I'll remember him I'll remember the way he smells the way he sang every morning how he helped everyone the essence and feeling of safe when he was there the middle man stance he took whenever he was needed to make things work out between two people arguments I'll never forget the things he told me in confidence the things he taught me as a father and roll model I'll never forget...
He was such a good man he that he helped people so much till the day he died that he had giving so much it left him broke and had nothing to leave momma so I have my house up got some renters that rent or my home and they pay momma so she can survive took she passes to be with daddy I'm homless and she doesn't know it but everything I do is for my family .
There's if no getting over something or someone that was there every day or that made an impact on your life but with that being said freind remember these two things in life daddy said happiness isn't giving to your not will a partner lover or freind give it to you don't expect some one to make you happy cause they'll only bring you joy for a short time it's not even a result of anything happiness is your soul responsibility no one can fill your cup it's a life choice you choose to be happy.. Draw a line in the sand and say from this point on I chose happiness...
And remember that life in many peices can be a puzzle that binds the mind into delegating precious time you don't have to put a puzzle together but with a plan a plan can cut your time in half and with paying attention to your life and what you put into it you can strategically turn the puzzle into a photo with of art from pure memory of pay attention to your life and what you allow in it dont have time for people wasting time .
Live life to the fullest I say this being homless foodless and proud to say poor but from the bottom I'm walking back on up with one more beautiful angel then I had before.
I love you daddy thank you...
You must be logged in to post a comment.