Happiness: 5 unusual (and working) tips to be happy
HAPPINESS - Do you want to be happy?
Here are five tips to get there, based on the latest research in the field.
1. Walk like you're in a shampoo commercial.
The general idea: What you do affects how you feel, says author Richard Wiseman in his latest book, The As If Principle.
In other words, behave like you are happy and you will be, scientifically speaking.
One weird thing to do that might work: change the way you walk.
The researchers found that people who walk with long strides (long strides, swinging arms) for three minutes feel "significantly happier" than those who shuffle (small steps, hunched shoulders, lowered face).
2. Act as if nothing ever happened.
The general idea: Most of us have certain ideas of when or how we will best enjoy life (“When I get this job!” Or “If I get married”), which
fact, prevents us from being happy, explains Sonja Lyubomirsky in her book The Myths of Happiness.
All of these received ideas do not only concern the future.
To think constantly that if we had acted differently in the past, we would be happier today, is just as harmful.
One weird thing to do that might work: create a "new yourself".
The first step: examine the thing or things that you absolutely wanted but didn't get (eg “I wanted to skate at the Olympics!” Or “I wanted to have a child”).
Next, consider the specific reasons that prevented this dream from coming true: what people and / or events influenced you;
what minor or major choices have you made?
Once this painful task has been done - a job most people avoid doing - you will be better prepared to imagine "a new yourself".
In other words, you can start working on who you want to be right now, instead of comparing yourself or trying to catch up with the person you wanted to be before.
3. Give to help yourself.
The big idea: Give until you succeed, says Adam Grant, author of the forthcoming book Give and Take, on how generosity helps you thrive, not fail - even in the most difficult situations.
One weird thing to do that might work: buy your mom some cashmere socks.
Researchers at Harvard Business School, the University of British Columbia and the University of Liège have thus established that buying something for someone else - as long as it does not exceed a reasonable range of 3
at 15 euros - makes you happier than buying the same for yourself.
4. Whisper in the dark.
The general idea: There have never been more Americans dissatisfied with their work situation than since the recession, says Lyubomirsky.
Granted, this may be the result of lower wages and longer hours.
But it may also be because we got used to the positive aspects of our jobs and saw them as secure a bit quickly.
One weird thing to do that might work: Make a list of everything you love - even adore - about your job: the open attitude to new ideas for example, or a laptop you can take home.
If you're one of the people who makes lists of things they're grateful for just before going to bed, be aware that your partner may be a little worried about hearing you whisper in the dark: "unlimited nutty milk.
. Nice boss. Free post-it notes. "
5. Let go of the "smiley" thought
The general idea:: some people play to win.
Others play so as not to lose, explains the recent book Focus: Use Different Ways of Seeing the World for Success and Influence.
Finding out which type you belong to helps motivate you, achieve success faster and, quite simply, make you feel better.
One weird thing to do that might work: refuse to be optimistic (if you're not a positive person).
In an experiment conducted by the two authors, Heidi Grant Halvorson and E. Tory Higgins, people "who play not to lose" (and also tend to be pessimists) were given a word game.
In the middle of the game, they were told they had succeeded - then they quickly lost motivation and stopped playing.
In contrast, when told mid-game that they weren't really doing well, they were motivated to do better, solved more puzzles, and had more fun.
All of this brings us back to the good old principle of happiness: be yourself.
You have the right to be pessimistic.