https://twitter.com/harudam_won/status/1578547710352707584?t=5TbSAfnYlbUzRhoJfIfPIA&s=19
Haruto just walked out of his room when he saw Yedam sitting at the living room on the couch, hands in below his face, and face frowning.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. Yedam looked back at him, smiled, and said
“Nothing... Do you want to sit besides me?” he smiled. It’s the first time they ever talked like this since they started ignoring each other. Haruto nodded, and walked towards him to sit.
Once he sat down, the living room fell silent. A minute or so, Yedam spoke.
“So... How are you?”
Haruto looked at him.
“I‘m the one who‘s supposed to ask you that. How are you?”
Yedam chuckled and nodded left and right.
“Answer my question first.”
“I‘m alright, how about you?”
“I—I‘m not alright, but I‘m sure i‘ll be okay.”
Haruto Hummed in response. Once again, the room where they are fell silent. Yedam was the one who broke it, again.
“Say, Haruto... If ever I leave, what will you feel?”
Haruto turned to his side to give Yedam the biggest frown he have ever plaster to his face. ‘Why would he asked that?’ he thought.
“Why—why are you asking that? Of course I‘ll be sad, and mad at the same time.”
Haruto saw Yedam pressed his lips into thin line, and he nodded.
“I get why you would be sad, but mad? Why?”
“It‘s obvious, we've already come a long path together, then you‘ll say you were leaving. To me, it looks like you didn't treasure the memories we created because you consider leaving us. Wait, are you leaving?” Haruto finally asked the question Yedam's been anticipating to hear.
Yedam let out a scoff before lowering his head.
“I don't know, I don't want to leave. But YG suggested that I should wonder the world of composing. Knowing your reason, it makes me want to not leave more.” he frustratedly said.
Haruto was dumbfounded. ‘He's... leaving..?’ he looked at the ceiling and thought ‘he's leaving...’
“What should I do, Ruto? I don't know what to do anymore...” Yedam asked, still lowering his head.
“I... Don't know... That news, shocked me.”
Haruto, who is still processing what Yedam said, replied.
“Haha, I'm sorry...” Yedam said.
“I'm so sorry...” he added.
If you were there, you would only hear the aircon at the back because of how silent they are right now. What should they say next? Haruto's still processing the message, Yedam's frustrated because guilt is eating him up hearing what the other said would feel if ever he leaves.
Haruto tried speaking after the long minutes have past.
“/cough/ well, if you like composing, then you should pursue it. ‘Even if you will leave us because of that.” Haruto finally replied, he didn't spoke the last line.
Yedam raised his head to turn to Haruto.
“As long as you come back to us, then we will be alright... I think.” -haruto.
“What if... What if I don't?”
“Then we would accept it, just—just don't forget us. If you leave to study more about composing, we will support you. If you leave permanently, then we will accept whatever you choose... And if you forget us, I don't know what will happen... But, whatever you do, we will support you.” Haruto said. Yedam didn't notice the tears that fell into his left eye, he broke down after keeping it up to himself.
He lowers his head again to cry the tears he's been suppressing. Haruto saw the whole thing, and he doesn't know what to do, so he just patted his back.
Yedam's been carrying a lot since the day he was born, even if his parents didn't pressure him to do all things at once, he himself is the one who pressure him because he doesn't want to disappoint their fans. He can't stop thinking of how the fans will be disappointed at him if ever he did a mistake, or if he procrastinate.
“I'm sorry, Ruto... I'm sorry.” he said between his sobs, Haruto only listened. Well, he wants to cry, but It's not use because Yedam might feel guilty and won't do what he wants to do without thinking what we will feel.
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