In the transformation of the primate brain into a human brain, social connections, which include love, have played and continue to play a huge role. Let's understand how the brain's love chemistry works, what happens to the body at the moment of separation and how to cope with the painful feelings and experiences.
Breakups can be awful, and sometimes it feels like you'll never be happy again. But time heals, and here are some tips to help you heal faster.
Don't analyse the past by constantly asking yourself, "Did I try hard enough?" Rather, think about the red flags that tell you that you are incompatible. There's nothing wrong with mistakes - they help us make good choices in the future.
Block him on social media
Blocking is the best way to resist the temptation to spy on your ex on social media. Trust me, you don't want to see him enjoying life and going on dates while you're trying to piece together the puzzle of your heart's wreckage. Remove all your photos of you together from your phone so you don't accidentally stumble across them. You don't have to delete them at all: Just stash them in some folder that won't loom in front of your eyes. Get them out of there later if you want to.
Give yourself two weeks to grieve.
Feelings don't just go away. You have to get over them, and that takes time. You don't have to be strong and forget about what happened right after the door slams. Cry, complain to your friends, watch all the seasons of The Real Housewives of New York, eat ice cream, roll around in bed. If you don't give yourself time to get over the pain, it'll catch up to you later. Just hang in there and then move on.
Rearrange the furniture
Move furniture, buy new sofa cushions or bed linens. Have you always wanted to move two shopping carts of scented candles, stuffed animals and silly vases out of IKEA? It's about time! Change the space - let it be different from the one you lived in together. Gather things that bring back memories of your relationship, put them in a box and put them under the bed. Someday they will no longer evoke your emotions, then put them back.
Go away or go out on your own
When you share your free time with someone, you have to constantly consider their opinion and compromise. Be a selfish person who only does what she likes. No more, "I don't want to see Black Widow, let's go see Cobra Raid!" Pick a movie to your liking, have dinner on your own at a restaurant, go on holiday alone. You'd be surprised how much better it is than always fitting in with the other person.
Get in touch!
What you are really missing is not the person but the warmth he/she has given you. Supportive words, "How are you?" messages on messenger, genuine interest in what happened to you during the day. But it's not just the man who can give it, it's the people closest to you. Without all these small but so important tokens of attention, it can feel like no one cares about you. But that's not the case: the one and only person has disappeared from your life. Everyone else is still around.
Sometimes a relationship ends and you still keep thinking about what you should have said to that person. Write an email with all the words you think are important and save it in your drafts. Mention all the bad things that happened between you. And when you feel lonely and want to talk to your ex again, open that email and remember why you broke up.
It's easy to extol the relationship and remember only the good things, especially in moments of weakness. But don't forget the negativity - it's the only way you won't get into it again. It's worth having a cheat sheet to tell you why you shouldn't call him up at night trying to get back on track.
And don't ever forget: love for life is a myth. There will be new relationships - and certainly no worse than the ones that ended.
When going through a break-up there are often many strong feelings, sometimes contradictory. There may be anger and joy at the same time, relief and loneliness, resentment, sadness, longing and some satisfaction and a feeling of freedom. Try to identify which feelings and states you are experiencing, and for what reason. For example, resentment because I had planned one thing and received another from my partner, loneliness because I now have to get used to sleeping alone, and so on.