But if you are not looking for easy ways and are used to taking everything from life, I suggest you go through a difficult quest called "Meeting a girl on the street". This is a real school of life, after which nothing will frighten you.
The right attitude
Before you start getting acquainted on the street, you need to work on your psychological mood. The main obstacle for most men is the fear of rejection. By the way, it is quite justified - according to statistics, only 2 attempts of street dating out of 10 are successful.
Tune in to the fact that at the initial stage you will not be able to avoid failures. So that self-esteem does not suffer at the same time, perceive the process as an exciting study. If you drive a car, remember the first time you got behind the wheel. It was scary, my body didn't obey, my legs were shaking. What conclusion did you make after that?
Surely you have decided that you don't have the skills yet, you need to practice more, and then each time riding will become easier and more enjoyable. And what would happen if, after the first unsuccessful attempt, you began to consider yourself a good-for-nothing loser, fell into despondency and vowed never to drive again? That's right – you'd still be walking.
Familiarity is also a skill that requires practice, experience, and feedback. After each failure, repeat the mantra to yourself: "It's okay, I'm just learning”" Over time, the negative experience will be replaced by a positive one, and you will begin to enjoy dating any girl.
6 components of a successful dating
You have about 30 seconds to form a first impression of yourself when you meet. If you want to be on top in these half a minute, you will have to spend dozens of hours preparing.
No matter how smart, versatile, talented you are, when you meet spontaneously on the street, you will be evaluated primarily by your appearance. Therefore, pay attention to the following tips – they will help you create an image pleasing to the eye.
Keep your back straight
Good posture is the frame on which the image of a man rests. Always, and not only while dating a girl. So if you tend to slouch, work on your back in the gym.
Unlike girls, everything is simple here for men – a clean head, neatly trimmed nails, cultivated facial hair. I hope everyone is observing it anyway.
No stains, holes, pellets, stretched knees, crumpled collars and cuffs. White should be white, black - black, as in advertising. Pay special attention to shoes - wipe them regularly from dust and dirt.
Follow the style
The pursuit of fashion is not necessary for a man, but it still does not hurt to have an idea of what and how they are worn today. You don't want to be known as a guest from the last century who flew in a time machine, do you? Moreover, the designers of the mass market tried and did almost everything for you – you just have to learn how to combine things and adapt them to yourself.
Pay attention to details
The details reflect your personality, allow you to express yourself. A tattoo, a provocative inscription on a T-shirt, an unusual bracelet can be a chip. Show imagination, expose your personality - girls love it. No wonder they say that the devil is in the details.
On the basis of odors, a person develops an attitude of trust or distrust towards a new object, so it is very important to monitor personal hygiene. The smell of sweat and fumes on unfamiliar girls is repulsive. When she falls in love, any of your smells will seem pleasant and familiar to her, but while you are a stranger, no.
Pick up a nice perfume. The only requirement is that it should not smell like her grandfather's cologne.
Watch your speech. Try to get rid of jargon and rude words. Don't talk too loudly and laugh – it's repulsive. But also to mumble something to yourself - too. Stick to the golden mean rule. This also applies to the speed of speech.
Elementary politeness and tact are able to win over any person. Always address an unfamiliar girl as "you", even if she is younger than you. If you ask for help, even purely symbolic, do not forget about "please” and "thank you".
Gallantry is an advanced level of politeness. If men knew what kind of sympathy credit they get from a girl for each of their noble gestures, they would use this weapon all the time. Skip ahead, hold the door, give way – it's so easy.
Adequately assess your chances of success when choosing an object for acquaintance. A healthy stable self-esteem and a sober view of yourself will help you in this. If these options are not available, here is a test to help you.
Take a closer look at a stranger and estimate how many girls from your environment with similar external data would like to meet you. And now try to imagine how many guys like you dream of meeting this girl. If the numbers are not in your favor, and the difference is significant, the chances are slim.
Having fulfilled all the previous recommendations, you will already pump up your confidence - a 100% guarantee. At the initial stage, its disadvantage is compensated by a high level of motivation – if you are not yet sure of the success of dating, then at least you should be sure that you need it. As practice, experience and feedback.
Let's move on to practice. Read about the lines of behavior and choose one for yourself to begin with. And when you master all three, the question “how to meet girls” will be solved for you.
The most winning, safe, universal strategy. If you are shy or afraid, it will help you to preserve your self-esteem. The bottom line is that you start the acquaintance with a neutral small talk, using the context of the situation. Situations can be dictated by circumstances or created by you. For clarity, I will give 4 examples.
You noticed a girl at the bus stop and decided to get acquainted. Come and ask about the route and schedule of the bus you need. Or ask how to get to your destination.
The classic option is to offer to help carry heavy bags. Just don't snatch them out of her hands, or she'll think you're a robber. You can offer an umbrella if it's raining, escort her home if it's dark and scary outside. Any relevant help will do.
Ask where your chosen one bought her handbag / blouse / chain, etc. Your sister's birthday is just coming up, and you would like to give her the same one.
Sometimes the girl herself can give you an idea for a conversation. For example, she walks with a dog. Come up, ask permission to pet her pet, ask about the breed - girls are willing to talk about what they love. Instead of a dog, there may be a book, a portrait of a favorite band on a T-shirt, an interesting and unusual accessory.
The advantage of this strategy is that you can "feel the ground” before openly expressing your sympathy and intention to get acquainted. By the reaction of the girl to your first phrases, you can easily understand whether she is located to you or closed.
If he smiles, willingly supports the conversation and shows participation - go to the acquaintance, the green light is on for you. If the chosen one answers in monosyllables, looks to the side or through you, and her face is sullen – turn off the fishing rods.
It is possible that you, too, will not like Madame during the conversation. Then you can politely take your leave and go home, while preserving both your own and her nerve cells.
This strategy is for those who do not like to pull the cat by the tail, but prefer to get straight to the point. The probability of getting rejected using this method is much higher – be prepared for this.
So, you have identified a "victim” and are ready to bring down all your male charm on her. If she is walking down the street towards you, try to catch her eye and smile. Having caught up with the beauty, stop, but not blocking her way, but slightly to the side. If you are going in the same direction, first catch up with her and walk a few steps side by side.
Never address a girl from behind. And even more so, do not grab her by the arm or shoulder.
Start the acquaintance with a greeting. Speak friendly and enthusiastic, smile. Leave all your importance and pomposity at home – do not talk to the girl as if you are doing her a favor.
At this stage, it is very important what image the girl will draw in her head. The worst option is if she decides that you are a promiscuous womanizer or a would-be pick-up truck who gets to know everyone in a row in pursuit of quantity. Such people can easily be recognized by the ordinariness of tone, impressiveness, hackneyed phrases and a smug grin. They cause nothing but ridicule.
Ideally, a girl should have the impression that you are a self-sufficient and in-demand man who just goes about his business and does not plan any dating, but suddenly sees HER. This is how love stories begin in many films, have you noticed? Every representative of the fair sex considers herself unique and dreams of a man who will see the “highlight” in her at first sight.
I will give examples of what you can say to a girl to achieve such an effect. By the way, a slight embarrassment will play into your hands, you should not be ashamed of it and try to hide it.
“You smile so charmingly that I forgot where I was going."
“I still haven't figured out what to tell you to get acquainted. Let's pretend I've already said that.”
“I've never met on the street, but today seems to be a special day."
"Excuse me for being tactless, but I won't forgive myself if I don't find out your name.”
“I liked you so much that I couldn't help but share this information with you.”
“What have you done to me? I'm worried like a student before an exam”"
“I don't know what to say in such cases... maybe we'll just have coffee together?”
I'll tell you another secret (may the girls forgive me). If you meet two friends, one of whom is noticeably superior to the other in beauty and showiness, come and express sympathy for the one that is simpler. If you liked it, of course, out of idle curiosity, you should not do this. The effect will be simply stunning – you will hit her on the spot.
A strategy for the bravest. Its danger is that in case of failure, you can not just run into rejection, but also cause aggression in your address. But such a risk is more than compensated by a horse dose of adrenaline.
You need to act on the verge of self-confidence and arrogance. You can even ignore the rules of politeness and turn to "you". Your goal is to evoke emotions in the girl, "break" the pattern, confuse her. And while she has not recovered from the shock, quickly move on to acquaintance.
I will give examples.
Sit down next to the girl on the bench and say with a straight face: "I've come. Aren't you tired of waiting for me here?”
After passing by a stranger, turn around and ask: ”Why did you pinch me?"
look at the girl for a few minutes without taking your eyes off, and then say“ "Why are you looking at me so intently?”
Common mistakes: how not to do
it Let's figure out what pitfalls await beginners at the beginning of dating and how to get around them.
Compliments - friends or enemies
You should be careful with compliments during dating. Until the girl has revealed herself to you as a person, the only thing you can compliment is her appearance. And this is a minefield. One wrong word, and- bang! - she turns away and walks off into the sunset with a disgruntled face.
To prevent this from happening to you, read the following phrases and forget them like a bad dream!
In the hit parade of anti-compliments, the word “pretty" takes the honorable first place. Girls hate him! And all because there is a cherished word "beautiful". So pronounce it.
”I like your legs /fingers / hands / ears, etc."
Compliments to individual parts of the body sound too impersonal, and sometimes even condescending and vulgar.
"You can drown in your bottomless eyes."
Avoid formulaic phrases and poetic exaggerations. They give the impression of a homemade preparation of a seasoned ladies' man, getting acquainted with 10 girls a day.
I will share with you a little trick on how to make a girl feel good without resorting to standard compliments. It's all about the right pitch. The compliment should not be your words themselves, but the conclusion that the girl will make from them.
For example, you can start dating like this: “Did you by any chance shoot for a jewelry commercial? I think I saw your picture in the shop window." The girl will be pleased that you took her for a model, because only very beautiful people are filmed in advertising.
You can play on female psychology. Most 20+ girls tend to look younger. Play along with them! You can ask what course your chosen one is studying if you see that she is no longer a student. Don't forget to be genuinely surprised to hear her real age.
Phone number at any cost
The main purpose of dating on the street is to please a girl and make her want to continue communication. If you succeed, she will be happy to leave you her phone number.
But some men confuse cause and effect and try at all costs to get the coveted number from the girl, as if it were a code from a safe with a million dollars. Persuasion, manipulation, pressure on pity, appeal to conscience and even threats are used. Never do that, men - it humiliates you.
The golden rule of all dating is don't be beggars. Respect yourself and the girl!
In one guide for beginner pickups, it is advised to immediately check the phone number for correctness by making a dial-up. Girls, they say, are so insidious that they can deceive. Yes, it happens. There are usually two reasons – the chosen one is afraid to hurt you with a direct refusal, or you got her so much with persuasion that it was easier for her to give up.
In any case, do not try to expose her as a naughty child. It will not add sympathy to you.
If you don't praise yourself, no one will praise you
This point is about such an irreplaceable quality as modesty. Please do not confuse it with self-doubt, these properties have nothing in common.
During dating, the temptation is great to report to the girl about all your achievements and strengths. My advice to you is to keep this trump card up your sleeve, it will still be useful to you.
Imagine that an unfamiliar person suddenly tells you that he is a cool specialist in his field, who has no equal in your city. What would you think of him? And if you find out the same information after a while not from him, but from mutual acquaintances or from the media? In which case will the effect be stronger?
Not only do praising yourself to a loved one devalue your dignity in the eyes of another person, you also gain a reputation as a braggart and arrogant. And much of what you and your mom are proud of has questionable value for a stranger.
You can share your successes if there is a request from the other side. For example, you have a conversation with a girl, you say that you are doing sports, and she asks about your success at competitions. Here you can safely tell about your achievements. But without fanaticism, please.
Such valuable universal human qualities as intelligence, beauty, nobility, kindness should never be declared in words at all! A new acquaintance should discover them in you herself.
Learn to lose with dignity. If the girl refused you for some reason, do not try to mentally humiliate and devalue her. And even more so, do not throw out all your indignation at the poor fellow with the phrases "well, you're a fool”, "you're scary yourself”, ”the queen was found", etc. Accept the fact of defeat and draw conclusions for the future. Otherwise you will never learn anything.