When do you acquiesce?
I've been attempting to answer this issue for myself for many years.
It is difficult to determine when to promote responsibility (by setting objectives) and when to let oneself concentrate on something else.
I've loathed goal-setting for some time. I find them to be restricting, constant, and indicative of an unwarranted fixation on identity stability.
For individuals who, like me, like exploring, it is inevitable that a product must be sent. We must complete what we begin. In this article, I'll examine the link between identity and goals and provide the greatest advice I've discovered for setting the correct ones.
You will discover how to make objectives that you can attain and the true reason you don't accomplish what you set out to do.
Lessons on Identity
You should constantly evolve.
You change as you gain knowledge about the world and yourself. You discover that an outdated approach is unreliable. You find a new way of thinking that you want to embrace. You meet someone who alters your course.
As you get greater knowledge of reality, you evolve as a person (and you should change). Your self should be a dynamic entity that adapts to its surroundings. If you do not adapt, you will be left behind. This dynamic is described by Ray Dalio in his book Principles:
The universe is strewn with once-great things that have degraded and failed; only a select few have continually reinvented themselves to achieve new heights of brilliance. Eventually, all machines break down, disintegrate, and their components are recycled to make new ones. That includes us as well.
You will fail if you do not reinvent yourself and adjust in reaction to new information. And this has always been the difficulty with my ambitions. A solid identity is either a sign of ignorance or enlightenment (and it's definitely the former), thus you should change. Goals don't alter. When you create a goal for a year or even a few months in the future, you are speculating on what your future self will desire based on what you want now.
I came upon a writer, whose work I like but who no longer posts, who made a similar argument against quitting side ventures. In sum, he believes we should not complete a thing for the sake of completion.
You should never feel guilty for not completing a task. A side endeavor is similar to a book. You shouldn't pressure yourself to finish a book. If you fail to complete a book, it is not your responsibility. It is the fault of the author. Likewise, an abandoned side project is not your responsibility. It is the notion that no longer merits your time and effort.
As you get a deeper understanding of the world, your previous notions of what is valuable begin to disintegrate. Your fresh ideas invalidate your previous goals. Three months ago, you may have believed that your objective was a terrific idea, but it no longer makes sense. Therefore, you cease working on it and move on.
In fact, this is precisely what occurred to this author: he determined that publishing a newsletter was no longer an useful use of his time, and he moved on. And I'm really depressed. I like this individual's work, yet he has abandoned his individuality as a writer. Perhaps he should not have done so.
Everything is based on a person's Identity
Your identity is shaped by your behaviors. Who you are is determined by the daily actions you do. And it is these practices that produce outcomes. James Clear said it best in his book Atomic Habits:
You do not reach the level of your objectives. You are reduced to the caliber of your systems.
Even if you have big goals, nothing will be accomplished without regular activity to support them. Identity influences all of our actions. We act as we do because that is the sort of person we are.
Identity is the motivating factor behind all outcomes.
Lessons in Responsibility
Here's the thing with accountability: it doesn't care who you are, what you like doing, or what you want to accomplish. Accountability necessitates the shipment of a product.
I struggle with being responsible.
I am not worse than the ordinary individual when I say "I'm awful." In fact, I would wager that I am more accountable than the typical individual. In other words, there is a significant discrepancy between how responsible I believe I should be and how accountable I really am.
According to popular wisdom, individuals fail to attain their objectives because they do not work hard enough. I am not attempting to contradict that knowledge. It is often true that failure to attain a goal is due to a lack of effort (it may also be due to a lack of resources, but it seems that most people are able to account for this when they establish objectives; the assumption that fails is that they will work hard to reach those goals).
This does not however imply that you are lazy. Most individuals fail not because they lack the capacity to work diligently to attain their objectives. They fail because they establish new objectives. Since their identity has changed since the last time they established a goal, they choose a new objective.
Thus, we return to the unsolvable problem: identities inspire objectives. Identities are ever-changing, but objectives are not.
So, what do you do? Do you establish goals? Are they not established by you? At the core of these problems is the dilemma of knowing when to persist and when to go on.
It begins from the very beginning. It begins with the objective, not its implementation.
Clarify your values and pick the objectives that correspond with them.
If a goal contradicts your values, you should not pursue it.
Despite the fact that our identity is always evolving, there are some aspects of it that remain constant. For instance, I've had the same goal for over a year: to build tools that assist folks in thriving.
Others will applaud worthy objectives. Great objectives emanate from our center. We are indifferent to what others say about them.
Many of our objectives are not really ours. In high school, I wanted to become a physician. Yes, I wanted to assist others achieve good health, but I was also intrigued by the concept of the prestige that would come with it. It was a status objective, which are often doomed to failure. Ask yourself the following question while creating a goal: if I got no money, status, or external reward for achieving my objective, would I still accomplish it?
With this inquiry, I am in a position of great privilege. If money, prestige, and other external commodities are among your core values, you should not ask yourself this question! Money, position, etc. are diversions for me from what I really want. The purpose of this question is to minimize typical distractions in order to better align yourself with your core principles.
Once you have chosen the correct objective, you will adhere to it. It is no more an issue of your emerging identity, but whether or not you are willing to put in the effort.
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