Secrets all mom should know

Divorce is something that noone wants to experience. It might sound like an easy solution for resolving any marriage issues your facing, but think again. The end you seek now could be the beginning to problems that take effect years later. 
Divorce effects more then just the married couple.family,friends,and even those you work with,will all be effected by the changes that will be made. If the couple has children, they could face their own set of problems caused by the divorce, even have new ones that show up years later. 
Eventually the two now single people will bring someone new into the family. The children will feel emotions that they are not capable of knowing how to deal with. The way they react and handle the news depends greatly on the parents. It could be overwhelming and stressful or it could be relaxing and beneficial to everyone. 
when you first learn of the new person, it might come as a shock. You might get defensive, protective, jealous, or any other feelings and the children will be using your reaction as a cue on how to deal with their own feelings.  
If your reaction includes saying "I'm the mother, not her", or anything similar, your children will pick up on that and the new step parent will become the enemy. Someone whom they will work against. When your child goes to the other parents home, it could be a welcoming place with the new step parent helping out like a live in baby sitter that you don't have to pay. Or it could be a war zone where the child is sabotaging the new couple, believing it's what you want done. Without you saying that's what you want.
the secret to ending a mess of problems that will arise and cause stress and grief on your child, effecting you,and everyone else too, is to let your child know that it is ok for them to get to know her, like her, and you might like her too if you got to know her. 
face it, the new step parent might consider having stepkids as one of your exes baggage that they are going to have to accept if they want to stay with their new spouse. And that baggage could be passive aggressive little ninjas that already feel that the new person is the thorn that is keeping mom and dad from getting back together and the family being whole again. And that ninja might be attacking the new person in all the ways the ninja can think of and get away with, refusing to listen, or respect the new person or their home. 
Eventually the new step parent will not welcome your child to their home because of that behavior, leading to a division between child and parent. This can cause your child much grief. 
instead remember that like anyone else your child is around, you should get to know the person and base your decision off of who they really are.