1. Leave small talk to the losers
Scientists recently found that people yawn three times more intensely when the person they talk to tells them that "winter is coming. Okay, okay, scientists haven't figured that out yet. But soon they will, for sure, because small talk on general topics makes the interlocutor feel that, firstly, you're boring, and secondly, consider him boring at the same time.
Find the topic of conversation here and now. For example, if the interlocutor (something we have long forgotten about the existence of girls, that is, interlocutors) in the hands of a glass with martini and olive, ask: "Do you know that the olive bone is an excellent absorbent and prevents intoxication soon?
2. go on the offensive.
Immediately inquire about your interlocutor's opinion on an issue. Ask directly, "How do you feel about introducing a bill in the Duma to ban olives in martinis?" Every person has an opinion about one thing or another. And a person is very flattered when that opinion is asked.
However, you run the risk of ending up not in a dialogue, but in a monologue, when the person puts his cocktail aside, pulls out a pile of papers and says: "I've been waiting for this question for a long time! Here I have everything in detail, let me tell you ...".
3. Elevate your interlocutor
Ask the person you're talking to for advice. "Do you think I should put a fifth olive in my martini or is four enough?" Advice is different from opinion in that you're not just interested in the person you're talking to-you're asking them to influence your life. And that's a whole new level of trust.
It should make the person you're talking to feel twice as good. Well, or he will panic from the responsibility that you want to give him, and, spilling martinis, run out of the room.
4. Don't try to know everything.
Ask simple questions that he is pleasant to answer. You don't need to ask which regions of Provence grow giant olives and which regions grow dwarf olives. Even if he is competent in the matter (especially if he is), he will start answering long, tedious and detailed.
In the end, you'll probably end up with everything mixed up into mush, too (olive, obviously), and the interlocutor will waste a lot of valuable energy on your conversation. Ask simply, "Aren't olives and olives the same thing?" Anyone will be happy to answer such a question.
5. But don't stop there, either.
It's no surprise if, when you ask a question that can be answered "yes" or "no," you only get a "yes" or "no." So ask for clarification. "Are olives and olives the same thing?" - "Yes." - "How interesting, so why are they different colors?" Agree, this question is already harder to answer "yes." And even "no." The interlocutor will be forced to communicate with someone as pleasantly unobtrusive as you are.
6. Let the imagination run wild.
People underestimate hypothetical questions, often considering them to be crazy. Nevertheless, the hypothetical question with a touch of fantasy has the greatest chance to interest the interlocutor.
So do not hesitate to ask: "Have you ever wondered if olives are sometimes wiser than people? If the interlocutor answers dryly "yes," see the previous point.