I started drinking heavy just to kill the nightmares.
The doctors had me on so much medicine just to keep me from breaking down. Every time I would look at my son I would just break down crying. The guy that had raped me never touched my son. The drinking got the best of me. I found out that I was going to have a baby another boy. The father wasn't the man who raped me. I made it to 4 months into my pregnancy and started bleeding bad the doctors had put me on bed rest in the hospital. One night I was eating pudding and watching a old time scary movie and out of no where I started to get this bad pain in my lower back. The doctor came in my hospital room and gave me a check up. The next words that came out his mouth would destroy me. The doctor looked at me and said I was in labor all I could say was no I'm not. Now as a woman I know we give birth to babies of all size but at this moment that wasn't going through my head. He reached up inside of me and pulled my baby out. I screamed at the top of my lungs. When I got back home my son kept asking me where his little brother was at. I didn't know how to tell him so I took a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Yeah I went to sleep and when I woke up I saw new stuff in the house. My mom didn't know what I had just done. It would have killed her.
I went out back on my moms porch and had a talk with god... I had to ask him why me...why put me through so much hell? Was all this a test? Was he trying to see how much I could handle?
Well the joke is on you "God" give me all that you got! Sometimes you end up eating your own words. I ended up with a really bad infection that it almost killed me. I was rushed to one of the worlds best hospital for emergency surgery. The metal in my wrist had became infected. I had ended up with staph. This time I had sat down with death himself and had a talk. I was ready but he wasn't. I ended up having 2 emergency surgeries. All the metal and screws were removed. I kept telling the nurses that I have been there 4 days till this one nurse told me that it has been 13 days since I've been in the hospital.
Where did the time go? How many surgeries did I have? Why didn't any of the doctors tell me that this would happen? So many questions that I had. It's been 2 years since all that happened and I'm still getting used to my hand. I can't bend the wrist and my fingers bent even more. In the winter my fingers turn purple and they have a death cold.
You must be logged in to post a comment.