Every person faces situations in his life more than once in which it is difficult for him to make a decision, to find a way out of it. Some may seem hopeless. However, it is not so. Every situation has at least four scenarios. Whichever one you choose, it will be optimal for you at that moment in time and for those events.
The first two most important steps are: acknowledge the problem and calm down, don't get nervous, don't panic.
Let's look at 4 scenarios for getting out of any difficult situation and illustrate them with two examples.
We will take two situations as examples to describe the scenarios.
Situation 1: At work, you have once again been unreasonably deprived of a bonus. You have found out that this is because your supervisor does not like you. You have tried to talk to him about it, but his attitude toward you has become even worse.
Situation 2: You find out that your boyfriend secretly corresponds with other girls. You have talked to him about it more than once but it won't stop.
Change the situation.
Definitely, you shouldn't run away from the problem. You need to look her in the face and, if possible, take action to solve it. Analyzing the causes that led to the problem, your mistakes, will help avoid its recurrence in the future. But there is today, there is a difficulty that must be overcome in the present. Try to calm down, emotionally abstract from the situation and look at it as if from the outside. It is difficult to do this, and even more difficult to make balanced decisions if you are driven by emotion, not reason. Emotions can lead to rash, impulsive actions, which can only exacerbate the problem. Think about who you can share your feelings with, who can help you calm down. Think about the people in your environment, near or far: who among them can help you or has acquaintances who can help you. Consult those who may be able to give you some kind of solution. Or mentally turn to those people whom you could go to for advice, think about what they would most likely advise you to do in this situation.
Situation 1: discuss the problem with the management of the organization, explain the reasons for which you were deprived of a bonus, ask the director to influence your immediate supervisor, justify that you deserve the bonus, demand to restore your rights.
Situation 2: talk to the guy again, clarify the situation, explain to him that you don't like it, ask him to stop the correspondence.
Change your attitude towards the situation.
If you come to the conclusion that at the moment you do not know what to do to fix the problem or do not see a solution for it at all, but at the same time you cannot get out of the difficult situation, then try to emotionally distance yourself from it, stop reacting to it, block your emotions in relation to it. Think about whether it's really worth worrying about. Aren't you dramatizing her more than she's worth. What you might end up losing if things don't go your way, and how significant that loss will be. In a sense, your job would be to devalue the problem and its consequences for you and your life.
The best option would be to find something positive that this situation can bring. The technique "But..." is suitable for this. Its essence is that on a piece of paper you write your problem, and below write down those, albeit small, positive consequences that it may bring you.
Situation 1: Deprivation of a bonus is not the worst outcome, in any case, you were not fired from your job, do not turn the situation so that you will have to campaign.
Situation 2: do not dramatize the situation at least because he does not meet with them, but communicates remotely.
Leave things as they are.
Not every problem requires immediate action. And not every problem will lead to serious complications in your life. If you can't make a decision at this point in time, don't do anything. Acting without a certain plan, impulsively, making rash decisions can only make the situation worse. So if you don't know what to do, do nothing. Let the situation take its course. Let events develop by themselves. Perhaps soon there will be a person in your life who can help you solve it. Or a solution, like an insight, will come to you. Difficult situations usually make us nervous and anxious. Because of this, sleep is disturbed. But it is in sleep, while a person is asleep, that the information received during the day is processed and systematized, as if parsing it out. And then, as time passes, the brain as if by itself gives out a solution that we can not find analytically, constantly thinking over the problem. Sometimes it happens that difficulties dissolve on their own without your intervention.
Situation 1: to accept the fact that you have been deprived of a bonus, to draw conclusions for yourself that it can happen in the future, to make efforts not to repeat it in the future.
Situation 2: pretend that you do not notice anything, try to occupy guy time talking to yourself, pay more attention to yourself.
Get out of the situation, remove yourself.
Not always the problems that arise in life can be solved, and even more so, to solve them without negative consequences for themselves. Not everything in life depends on us. There are circumstances that we cannot foresee or eliminate. Sometimes solving problems requires too much time, resources, emotions and effort. And then it may be easier to withdraw from the situation altogether, to remove yourself. Of course, the tactic of fleeing from the problem is not the right one. But sometimes it is optimal for this particular case, taking into account all the circumstances. Of course, this will require not only a physical exit from the situation, but also an emotional one. Regarding the latter, I have already written in detail in the previous paragraph.
Situation 1: find a job in another organization or in another division of the same firm.
Situation 2: to break up with the guy.
Do not give in to difficulties! Your life is in your hands.
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