Now people are friends because of social and economic reasons, or just for the sake of an interesting pastime. That is, the very essence of friendship: being people close in spirit and having common values has been lost.
Friendship between people has become more like a profitable mutual calculation, and if you are not a useful person with resources and connections, or do not have the same interests as most people, you are unlikely to find friends. And accordingly, sharing something heartfelt and personal with such "friends" is not something you really want to do.
But even if the friendship is real, there are still two dangers that people forget about when they tell their friends something. And about them I will quote Osho.
In these quotes Osho refers to Machiavelli - that he is the author of these words. But I've looked through Machiavelli's books and didn't find these quotes, so since I met them in Osho's talks, let them be his. Besides, these quotes will not lose their value and meaning.
This reminds me of how Machiavelli admonished the princesses of the world in his great work, The Prince. One of his admonitions was: "Never say anything to your friend that you would not say to your enemy, for he who is a friend today may become an enemy tomorrow.
Everything in this world is temporary and has its opposite. Love turns to hate and friendship to enmity. This is why Buddha once said this profound thought: "I have no friends because I have no enemies.
That is, Buddha went beyond the duality of relationships - he began to treat all beings equally: with love and friendliness. Our friendship, on the other hand, is focused on specific people, so it has the potential to turn into its opposite, i.e., enmity.
And what is the best thing not to say to your friends based on this advice? I'll tell you from personal experience:
don't reveal your so-called "skeletons in the closet."
Don't say anything bad about your other loved ones and don't complain about them.
After all, it is unpleasant when you had a delicate situation, even 5-10 years ago, or you said something bad about someone in a fit of anger, and then a friend reminds you of it.
And in general, it is better to keep your innermost (define yourself what it is for you) to yourself - it is yours, personal, there is no need to disclose it to anyone.
And it's followed by the following: "Never say anything against your enemy, because tomorrow he may become a friend. Then you will be very ashamed."
Especially, this advice is valuable if you need to take the side of your friend, who has a conflict with close people or with his comrades. There is a high probability that he then will make up with them, but you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, where you can put "guilty" and remind you of everything that was said. So be careful with your judgments, because relationships with people are a very fickle thing.