What to do if you feel uncomfortable all the time

Who is susceptible to social awkwardness

People with a certain personality type.

The most common are psychasthenics - often hesitant, anxious people who find it difficult to approach strangers and take on a new task.

Awkwardness, shyness, stiffness are most characteristic of pronounced introverts, who are used to close communication only with a narrow circle of people, as well as of individuals with increased anxiety. Such people are worried that they may give the wrong answer, offend the interlocutor or look inappropriate.

2. Insecure people

People of all personality types can feel uncomfortable socially if they have been judged by their peers or parents for a long time. Even very outgoing and optimistic people can have low self-esteem under the influence of negative experiences and being in an aggressive social environment.


Does it need to be dealt with.

Shy person is usually not the initiator and the soul of the company. However, such people often have other important qualities, such as sensitivity and sensitivity. A typical example - the director Woody Allen, whose natural shyness has not prevented him to become famous throughout the world. So the main thing is to accept yourself as you are, and learn to use it.

If feeling uncomfortable prevents you from living and achieving your goals, try to change your attitude toward this trait and develop new behavioral strategies. You won't be able to completely change your personality type.

How to get rid of awkwardness

1. define your goals accurately.

Anything can use a plan and an understanding of your goals. Think about the situations in which awkwardness hinders you: with the opposite sex, with bosses and officials, with new people, or with acquaintances, too? Imagine what will change in your life when you overcome your social awkwardness. It will help you better understand yourself and motivate you to take further action.

2. Think about whether you can handle it on your own

Sometimes insecurity and increased anxiety can be a sign of sociophobia and other serious disorders. There are tests available online to determine your level of depression and the presence of sociophobia, but it is best not to get carried away with self-diagnosis. If you suspect you have something like that, see a specialist.


3 Start small.

This is universal advice for all situations, but here it is especially important. If a person with a psychasthenic type expects too much of themselves, it will only make things worse. There are trainings where you have to go up to strangers on the street and ask them for money or hug them. You shouldn't start with such exercises if they scare the hell out of you.


4. Know Yourself

The root of many problems is that a person does not see himself as he really is. The more we know ourselves, the less afraid we are of appearing ridiculous and not being liked by someone.

Our main fear is not to live up to our own expectations. The feeling of embarrassment arises when we commit an act that is at variance with the illusion of ourselves.


We need to understand our true traits and allow ourselves to make mistakes, because no one is immune to them.


5. Change your focus.

When a person is embarrassed, they focus entirely on themselves and how they feel. Instead, focus your attention on others, genuinely interested in someone else's life or story. After all, it may not even be fair: your opponent may not even have noticed your shyness or gaffe, and you are already not listening to him at all and withdrawing into yourself.


6. Choose carefully the circle of communication

It is very difficult to improve your self-esteem if your relatives make fun of you or assert themselves at your expense. Get rid of such pseudo-friends, and keep such colleagues and relatives at a maximum distance.


7. Take notes.

Make a plan, write down all of your successes, templates of phrases for communication. There is no shame in using cheat sheets for self-development. In addition, written information is better absorbed.

8. Read books on psychology and self-development

Many of them really help to change your life in a big way. Awkward people especially recommend books on body language and facial expressions, such as "The New Body Language" by Allan and Barbara Pease and "Difficulty in Communicating" by Andrei Kurpatov.


9. Just wait.

As people get older, they gain experience and are less responsive to the opinions of others. So to some extent the problem will resolve itself. Of course, this option will be suitable only if timidity and shyness do not interfere greatly with your life.


10. Don't take it personally.

Remember: if someone is rude or taciturn, it's probably not you. Chances are, they may be acting that way to everyone else or they may just be in a bad mood. Insecure people are often too suspicious and take any negativity personally.


But we are not responsible for other people's behavior, but we can control our own.


11. Know your worth when you are trying to make contact

Avoid negativity, but don't ingratiate yourself or keep silent if you are offended. It is better to blush and hesitate to say what you have been hurt than to walk away in silence, swallowing resentment or not understanding the situation.


12. Remember: There are many people who have gone down this road before you.

So it's possible for you. We wish you luck!


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