Think back to your first dates and first meetings with a woman you really liked. Did you ever ask yourself why you wanted her? Of course not. Everything was obvious - you like her in appearance, in character, in mind, for some reason. You wanted her. You were attracted to her.
I don't have to tell you how you could move mountains for a girl you really liked. You could solve all kinds of problems, give her money, come over, get over her tantrums, and just be whatever you wanted.
But when it comes to deeply married men... they've already forgotten all that.
With every quarrel and conflict, they ask themselves, "Why do I need this? Why should I be in charge and deal with everything, for what?"
It's a fair question. In a long-term relationship, the hormones have already subsided, the admiration of the first few months of communication has faded, and what's left... The household, the children, the habit, the attachment. I don't want to divorce and ruin my children's lives, I don't want to upset my relatives, and I just don't want to go through all that.
It's easier to find a new girl, who will again inspire and delight. And for her sake everything can be done! The only problem is that in a couple of years history will repeat itself and the passion will fade. The question will arise again: "Why do I need it?"
What do men think about every five minutes?
The root of the problem is not that there is not enough novelty. But in the fact that there is no ability and skill to find passion and joy in a relationship with one particular woman. To be able to find depth in that relationship.
And I'm not talking about abstract matters like love and caring. No, I'm talking about a very specific thing: sex.
Men are driven by sexual motive. 18 year old teenagers think about it every 5 seconds and 40 year old men think about it every 5 minutes. Think about it. Even a man in his 40s thinks about it all the time!
So really the reason why men leave the family is the lack of realization of "games" with women, the lack of depth and variety in this matter, which gives him a feeling of satisfaction, victory, submission to women (or submission to her, here it is up to some).
That's why someone chooses girlfriends on the side, someone gets a divorce, and someone secretly looks at adult pictures without real activity with his wife.
Some readers will say, "hey, so let the wife try for me, like I did for her." But that's a mistake. When you were 20, did you ask girls to try for you, too? No, you went and took what you wanted. Well, after consent, of course. You got what you wanted - by asking, by playing, by commanding, by wooing, whatever.
My suggestion to every man: think about whether they themselves have done much to diversify THIS life with their wife? Maybe then the answer to the "why" question will go away and everything will become obvious?