Life gradually seems to lose colors, brightness, the sense of taste of life. Each new day looks like the previous one. Do you know this feeling? We wait for a holiday, we start life on Monday, we wait for some event, and it seems that then life will begin. Or more often we remember the past, how good and carefree it used to be.
If this has never happened to you, I am very glad.
But many people are familiar with it.
Let's break down some of the reasons why we can lose our sense of happiness, our joy of satisfaction with life.
So, the traps we fall into:
📌 The first trap is the trap of the past.
When a person gets "stuck" in his past.
If we live in the past:
- we can't let go of resentments, we pimple them, we hoard them. We can't forget those grievances in any way.
- We cannot let go of the past, we remember past troubles, disappointments, sorrows.
- we do not conform to our ideas of ourselves, we are disappointed in ourselves, comparing ourselves to an ideal.
- it seems to us that it won't be as good as it used to be, it won't be as successful as it used to be. All the good is left in the past. Gone with it.
How do we get out of this trap?
Think about what I can fill my life with in the here and now: something valuable, something pleasant, something important. Every day to fill my life with small joys, pleasures, to accustom myself to concentrate on the present and look for opportunities for small joys.
📌 The second trap is the trap of the future.
There is such a concept - deferred-life syndrome. When a person postpones his joy for later: here's when I get married, buy an apartment, etc., my life will change for the better, I will begin to experience joy, enjoy my life. And right now... And right now there are not enough resources. A person doesn't allow himself joy until the very event that he thinks will change his whole life happens. But... Nothing ever happens.
But, one can learn to rejoice right here and now.
❗It is important to stop putting life on hold and start living in the here and now, to allow yourself now what you have been putting off. Teach yourself to enjoy the here and now instead of waiting for some event, some reason. We were born to be happy, and only we can make ourselves happy.
📌 The third trap is when we live by other people's attitudes and goals. Living up to other people's expectations. We do things in order to prove something to someone or to ourselves. In childhood a child is loyal to his parents, he vitally needs their attention and love. Therefore, the child tries to earn this love. He tries to live up to the expectations of the people closest to him. And then we get used to deserving the love of others, we get used to meeting other people's expectations, we are afraid of being "bad" for the bosses, neighbors, relatives, and just people.
Inevitably, inevitably comes disappointment, the feeling that I am not living my life. The feeling that I don't know what I really want.
It's important to stop and ask myself: Does what I'm doing now match my own desires and goals? To look inside myself and understand what brings me pleasure and joy.
It is important to make room in your life for joy and pleasure. Make time to enjoy yourself and take care of yourself. After all, the person closest to you is yourself.
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